Similar to All Roads Lead to Rome, Go For Yours is also a fairly short chapter in comparison to the first four. In my opinion, this chapter was more telling about Bethenny’s start in reality television than it was to coming from a place of yes; so while it was good in terms in learning more about Bethenny, it wasn’t so good at focusing on the reader.
Fairly straightforward, Go For Yours does exactly what it says on the tin and Bethenny explains how you shouldn’t give up on something that you want, even when things do not seem to be going right. She used her example of when she was on The Apprentice with Martha Stewart. Beforehand, she had auditioned for the original with Donald Trump, but because she wasn’t showing producers ‘the real Bethenny’, she thinks was why she did not make the final cut to be on the show. Nevertheless, instead of taking this rejection personally and to heart, she took some time to be disappointed, but kept in contact with some of the producers and kept asking if there were any opportunities: going for hers. As it turned out, some time later, she found out about a spinoff show of The Apprentice with Martha Stewart, and this time she got on the show, coming in second place. I find it interesting that Bethenny did not make the original The Apprentice, but then I remember that Bethenny is the type of person who wants to be in the first of something. For example, she had been offered numerous opportunities to do Dancing with the Stars (the American version of Strictly Come Dancing), but turned them down. However when she was offered Skating with the Stars (the American version of Dancing on Ice), she accepted, again coming in second place. Even still, you could probably say that Bethenny (or the world, take your pick) wasn’t ready for television just yet, and still needed time accepting herself; and in the end she found her Rome.
I think that going for what’s yours is about knowing what YOU want in life and finding ways to go about getting it, without stepping on others to get there. I also feel that once you’re comfortable with the first five rules in coming from a place of yes, you’ll be a whole lot more comfortable in going for yours because you would have worked towards it. Additionally, when you go for yours, you’re almost simultaneous agreeing that all roads lead to Rome and you will eventually get what is yours. This makes me think that All Roads Lead to Rome and Go For Yours, could easily have been one chapter, but I do think they lead on very nicely and work every well to complement each other.
Another way to go for yours and come from a place of yes is to treat every setback (minor or major) as an experience that will help and benefit you in the future. So similar to how Bethenny was rejected from appearing on The Apprentice, she learnt from it and was able to use that when time came for her to appear on the spinoff with Martha Stewart. In essence, she took some and left some from her experience audition from The Apprentice (a common theme in A Place of Yes). And though she did not win the spinoff series with Martha Stewart, Bethenny learnt from that experience too, which you know she used in her next reality adventure: The Real Housewives of New York City.
I once read somewhere that rejection means “come back another time”, and Bo Bennett once said: “a rejection is nothing more than an necessary step in the pursuit in success”. I really cannot help but agree. Sometimes we need rejection to see what we really want out of life and whether or not we should keep fighting and going for ours. Most times rejections ignites something in us and makes us realise that we shouldn’t give up, other times, we realise something Bethenny highlighted in All Roads Lead to Rome, and that is to know when to give up and go back to the drawing board. Rejection for course wakens us and brings us back to reality. We’ve all had our experiences of rejection and I know that I have learnt a great deal from mine. For example when I did not get the permanent position at work, I realised that I hadn’t really wanted the job in the first place. It would have been very impractical to travel to and from Winchester every weekend, and I could not have dealt with the pressures of having to reach targets. The rejection also made me realise that I was way more suited to being a temp, and made me grateful for the job that I did already have, whereas some of the other candidates did not even have jobs to being with. Knowing this, spurred me to work even harder at my temp job, and now I know (at least I think I do), that I can return at Christmas, which is another bonus.
A Place of Yes is slowly coming to an end, but before I get too depressed about that I’ve still got a few more chapters to read, so I should focus on the positives. Parts of me can’t wait to finish reading the book though, but only so that I can read it all over again.